You
two were so happy together, your relationship seemed to be doing okay, but now
it is over. You are having a difficult time trying to figure out exactly where
things went wrong. You also feel that it's now time to get your ex back. Be
careful! At this point it's best to tread lightly, otherwise you run the risk
of approaching things the wrong way and permanently putting your relationship
on ice. It seems like everybody has all kinds of advice for you, but while they
mean well, their advice isn't all that great. They have good intentions, but
they're not you and they don't understand your relationship as well as you do.
You feel all alone, and aren't sure what you should do to win back your ex, or
if you even have a chance.
Before
you even consider taking the first step, be sure that things have settled down
between you and your ex. While you may be ready to try to patch things up, your
ex may still be fuming over the break up. Just give them some space and time
before barging in on them.
Talk
to your ex's friends and family to see how your ex is doing. This will give you
some indication if they're ready to talk to you yet or not. Their friends and
family should have the best interests of your ex in mind, and have nothing to
lose by telling you how it is. If you are hearing good feedback, then you can
move on to the next step: initial contact.
Keep
the initial contact as low key as possible. Be polite and respectful. If things
seem to be calm enough move on to setting up a time to talk about things. The
key here is to meet in a neutral and non-threatening place, where you can talk
quietly. This way it's less likely one of you two will cause a scene, and
neither of you has to feel trapped (if things don't go as well as you had
hoped).
Assuming
you will be moving toward getting back together. This will steer the
conversation in a better direction. While you may have to discuss where things
went wrong, do so with the idea that it will prevent you from making the same
mistakes in the future. Demonstrate to your ex that you've learned from the
past and have a plan for not letting it happen again. If the conversation
allows, talk about the things that attracted you to each other when you first
met.
Take
things nice and easy. Work on not only rebuilding your previously broken
relationship, but also on creating a fresh new one. Doing it this way will give
you the best chance to get your ex back.
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